IT FEELS LIKE …

You don’t know

You don’t know how to describe. You, yourself don’t know how it feels inside. It is something you will never understand unless and until you experience it.

Fingers crossed; you will never want anyone to experience this, because you know how it feels to be felt nothing.

Let’s walk together through it. Let’s understand what you are feeling like. Let us take one step at a time. Let us do so, to make you understand what you feel like. Let’s say, it’s okay to be not OK.

It’s okay to be not OK

How does it feel?

You feel so pissed off, frustrated, sucked, irritated, knocked out, annoyed and so much more. You will not be able to put it into words. It’s difficult to explain. It’s different to understand.
It’s like you are stuck in a black hole in an empty pitch dark sky. You can’t go up nor you can’t slide down; you are just stuck.
It seems like there is no ray of sunshine. No ray of hope.
You just want to be in your bed, doing nothing.No shower, no food; literally nothing.
You lose all your beliefs.
Your best friend turns out to be your best enemy.
At times you feel like there is nothing left do in life. Other times you just pretend to be happy and fine.

You swing from infinity to zero, and vice versa. There are hallucinations that your mind propagates.

Mental-health

Your heart doubts your mind, you doubt yourself.

Constant mood swings are part of you, that make you frustrated all the time. You never find peace.
Nothing inspires you. No one can ever motivate you.
You just stay pretended all your life.
There are times when there is a quick rush of feelings, which even you fail to understand. Where at times you fly in clouds; and at times you get buried underneath the ground.

It feels like..Well, you don’t know how it feels to be ..

There is an inner urge to live life to the fullest; to be happy. And at the same time, you are enough with this so-called life.
There are no happenings.
The days get longer and your nights are even broader.
There is so much time for you, to do nothing.
Your appetite depends: sometimes you starve and other times you just throw up. There is a hollow space inside you.

There are hell a lot of questions that comes in and makes a boomerang in your head every time,and never goes out.. What is just happening? What am I going through? Why am I going through? Why? Why me? Your questions are never answered .You get enough with it.

You will be somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
You feel so tired of doing nothing. Getting up from the bed is a great concern than socializing. You just can’t walk out of your room, so hanging out is a question mark.
You will feel left alone from the world.
Your sleep cycle depends. There are nights with no sleep and there are mornings when you just can’t wake up.
Your normal routine is broken. So is your heart. Your body is weak. And your soul is nowhere found. You feel so abnormal about you.

From underneath

That, good for nothing feel.

You get worse every day, physically and mentally.
It’s like you are falling off a cliff. You don’t know whether to lift your hand for help or go with the fall.

You feel something missing from you. What? You never know.
You are anxious about the future. You are afraid of tomorrows. Your mind is always occupied with something.
There is an emptiness. There is a pit. A never-ending battle of hurdles.

Everyone around you seems to be happy except you.

Feels like you are banging on something. You are hitting yourself hard.
You broke down in the shower. Tears all flooded with pain. You just cry out loud.
You accept yourself to be a failure.

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You are being crushed, squeezed and ripped inside every day.
There is a pain in your throat and it’s difficult for you to breathe. Your heart pounds fast and you feel the rush of blood in your veins.
You believe that you are born to be sad.
You realize that nobody understands you. It hits you hard again, Bang!
Your head pains so bad, it feels like its going to explode. It spins like a fidget spinner.
You want to break things. You want to pull your hair off the skull.
You want to hurt yourself.
You just don’t want to wake up, since you know there is nothing to do in life.

You feel stressed and freaked out.
Others say you are weird and you want to hit them in the face.
You will attract more negative thoughts and complain yourself for your current situation. You blame yourself a lot of times in a day.
Zero confidence, short-tempered, arrogant and adamant these are your besties.
You will feel guilty for nothing and regret it later. But for what, you will never know.
You will find yourself to be the reason for everything bad around you.
You start hating yourself so much. You start hiding from others.

You are calm, you are violent.

It’s not easy for you to live. You make up your mind so many times to mark an end. You just want to quit, but you quit from that idea.
There is a burden on your shoulder. Every little thing seems to be a big sack of hurdle.
Your life is boredom.
You will break up from all your relationships.
You are afraid. You are confused.
You stare at nothing.
You never pay attention to anyone, you are lost in your own thoughts.

A lot of nothings fill your life.

It feels scary to look yourself in the mirror; it is YOU never knew.
You are being easily agitated.
You don’t know whom to ask help for. You don’t know if it’s OK to ask help.
Confused.
You are exhausted.

Having no problem is your problem.

You just want to be left alone, in your pajamas. You don’t want anyone to come to you nor to go to them. It’s all being in your own company and being only comfortable with you.
You feel ugly.
You feel disgusting.
You don’t want to socialize.
Your life is a misery.

You feel like falling apart.
And you hate the ones who ask you “are you all right? “, you just want to shout back to them that “nothing is fine“.But, you chose to stay silent.
You just want to shut your eyes and look away from the world.
You feel so pathetic about yourself.
You believe in handling everything all by yourself but fails.

You feel like your heart and brain has just lost connection.

You feel so unimportant and worthless.
You will have these many feelings and even more, but you will never understand how it feels. That’s the bitter truth.
You lose control over everything.

lacewings_blog

Still,
It’s okay to not be okay.
The wonderful YOU!
See how much you are concerned about yourself. Every line here has a YOU in it. So understand that you are important, you are in love with you.

You are being loved too.
Now that you know how it feels, take a chance to live this life.

To the fullest. Being the happiest.

Get some fresh air. Breathe in deep. See around. Live. Dream. You are fine.

Instead of thinking why, try focusing on how to overcome it .

Never ending thoughts? Put a period and start over. The beginning is new, but remember you will always remain the old wonderful you.

The YOU, you always wanted to be. The YOU, who always you were.
You are ready for the beginning. Aren’t you?

Give a chance to trust yourself again for once. Afterall, everyone deserves a second chance. You deserve it. You are worth it. Feel prettier within you.

Add life to your life.

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Remember…

Never compromise to survive, live it.

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